More on the miniature horses
Sorry about aborting yet another blog post there. If someone sits next to me in the internet cafe at work and eats an apple, they might as well shoot meet in the knee cap. I find it literally that unpleasant. I'm not using the word literally ironically, it is literally that bad. If you want to know what it feels like to me to hear someone eat an apple, shoot yourself in the kneecap 16 times (assuming it takes 16 bites to eat an apple - maybe it's more, I don't know because I never stick around to find out). If one day the British public finally sees collective sense and make me their king, I will ban people from eating apples in my presense. People will say it is a strange eccentric quirk, they might even mock me, to which I will reply "Screw you, I'm the fucking king, I can do what I like and there's nothing you can do about it. If you don't like it, then perhaps you shouldn't have made me the king in the first place. You knew what I felt about apples, you knew."If I had finished the previous post, I'd have gone on to say that I would no doubt have enjoyed it considerably more had I not been utterely exhausted and didn't have a headache and basically just want to be in bed. And if I didn't lose all the fucking time.
1 Comments:
We have a plan down at our end of the office to improve mini horse racing by having trained monkeys ride them during the races. They could wear little jocky outfits and everything!!
That should make it much more entertaining.
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