christopher-hill.com

Pub in Blackout

I am absolutely delighted to report that you don't need electricity to run a pub.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007 11:20 PM 0 comments

Caption Competition

I thought this photo deserved a caption competition. What are the two policemen at the bottom of the picture, watching on as the cars float helplessly in front of them, saying to each other?

Labels: rain

Monday, June 25, 2007 2:28 PM 4 comments

Pizza and stuff

Right, I'm about to head off to Berwick-Upon-Tweed. I've always liked the look of the place when sweeping past it en route to Scotland, so Liv got as a weekend away there for my birthday. I'm really looking forward to it despite the weather right now.

In the mean time, apropos of nothing, here's a pizza recipe. The dough is based on a recipe I found on the internets, the sauce is based on a Gordon Ramsay recipe in his "Makes it easy" book. It tastes great.

Ingredients:
16 ounces 00 flour (or any strong flour in fact)
9 ounces warm water
1/2 teaspoon dried yeast
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 jar passatta
3 cloves garlic
Buffallo Mozzerala
Grated Parmesan
Fresh basil leaves
salt & pepper to season

Method:
Bung the passata in a saucepan with a few slightly crushed cloves garlic and simmer until reduced by half. Season to taste.

Meanwhile, put the flour, water, olive oil, yeast and salt into a food processor (if your food processor has a dough hook, great, if not just use the normal blades) and mix until all combined into a soft springy dough.

Place the dough on a floured surface and roll into a ball. Place in a large bowl brushed with olive oil and leave to rise for one hour.

Pre-heat oven as high as it can go.

Then, stretch out dough on a floured surface to desired size/thickness/shape/number of pizzas (thin is best obviously), put on pizza stone/baking tray, spread on sauce, add mozzerela and some grated parmesan.
Cook in oven - mine takes about 4-5 minutes at 300 degress celsius.
Remove from oven and spinkle a few roughly chopped basil leaves, and black pepper.

Eat and say out loud "Fucking hell this is great pizza".

Friday, June 22, 2007 11:53 AM 2 comments

Chaos Theory and why a strike at a mine in Peru can bring down an internet connection in Sheffield

At work a few months back we had a few internet outages. That doesn't just mean that we can't update our Facebook status, it also means that productivity is severely reduced. This is because most of our servers are in external locations; these servers are required by most employees to do their work. In addition to this, communications with clients and deliveries to clients are done electronically.

Today we got forwarded the reason for the outages, which I thought made interesting reading. Names of companies have been changed because I don't like linking the company that I work for with the shit that I right on this blog.

To Whom it may concern,

[GC]'s backbone network in the UK has been built around the fibre and duct work originally owned by British Rail, these duct carry fibres for a range of telecommunications companies, not just [GC], but the ducts and rights of access are owned and leased to other providers by [GC].

As such many fibres run close to the main line railway, along side a raft of other network services used to run the railway infrastructure. Over the past couple of years there have been a series of incidents involving the theft of materials (notably copper) from railway sidings. The typical theft involved a person (or persons) cutting through a group of cables and associated ducting with a chain saw, driving 100 yards down the railway track in a 4x4 and repeating the process. They will then separate out cables containing copper from telecommunications fibres clamp them and pull the copper cables out of the duct by towing them.

The end result is that [GC] (and other carriers) have to travel to the site of the break (usually fairly isolated locations) identify both breaks and run a new length of fibre into the ducts and reconnect (splice) both ends. A large cable break may involve 40+ individual fibres at two locations, and affects a large number of customers simultaneously. Although we endeavour to repair faults within 4 hours it often takes longer due to the sheer volume of fibres in a single duct.

In the case of [my employer] there were two notable outages, on the 11th of February and the 29th March 2007 which affected the Sheffield site, these faults were both caused as a result of damage caused by thieves steeling copper cables from the communications duct work.

[GC] and British Transport Police take all such incidents very seriously, although the telecoms infrastructure can be repaired / replaced fairly quickly there is an obvious risk to health and safety of railway passengers as a result of any damage to track side infrastructure. The typical response to such incidents is as described by our network operations manager;

Why do we have a Problem?

The price of copper increased dramatically over the first 5months of 2006, reaching a record high of $8,800 per tonne in May, This figure ties in closely with a large increase in copper thefts from various industries Worldwide, currently Copper prices have moved to $8000 per tonne, fuelled by an increase in demand and a strike at the Worlds largest copper mine in Peru, power cabling, signalling and telecoms cable is stolen from the railway and is stripped away for it's copper content.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 5:19 PM 6 comments

Stupid Fucking Cocking Twats

I was walking to work this morning, and I saw at the top of Fargate a massive lorry. It was the kind of massive lorry that you see ploughing the highways in American movies.
"That must consume a lot of fuel." I thought.
The lorry was basically being used as a huge trailer carrying a huge video screen which was as long as the lorry and equally tall.
"That video screen must use a lot of power." I thought.
In front on the lorry was a man chisseling away at a 5 foot high block of ice.
"That must of taken a long time to freeze." I thought.
The ice was being chisseled into a globe. At the foot of the globe were the words "Carbon Planet".
"I hope they are not environmentalist, because that would be beyond hypocrasy." I thought.
I got to work and looked up Carbon Planet. They claim that they are trying to help reduce global warming by selling you carbon credits that allow you to offset your energy usage.
"Stupid fucking cocking twats." I thought.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 10:23 PM 6 comments

Oxford

I just spent a very nice weekend in Oxford with Liv. As a former post grad student at University College, she gets two free nights accommodation there each year, along with cheap rates for a guest. So for £30 a night with a free meal at "High Table", it was a really cheap city break. The only downside was that I was stuck next to a complete bore at dinner, who's idea of conversation was to talk at me in an attempt to display how intelligent he was.
Him: So, tell me, how do you acquit yourself in life?
Me (Giving a flippant answer in the hope he'd chill his boots): I don't.
Him: Oh I see, so you're rather like St.Augustus then!
Me: ...I'm a software development manager.
Later on, after an hour of his bullshit ("I tell my students - you are not studying medieval history because there's no such thing as medieval history; you are living it here and now; this fork, this meal, it's all medieval! Do you see how clever I am? Do you?") I realised that I was bursting for a piss. Not caring that leaving the table at this stage probably wasn't the done thing, I asked directions.
Him: It's through the door, into the courtyard, and then left and up the stairs. And don't worry, I'll apologise to Rosemary for you.
Rosemary is Liv's mate who was head of the table. The old duffer was clearly trying to hint that I should perhaps stay put for now and not go to the loo.
Me (getting up to leave): Right, OK, thanks.
Him: You'll need the code. It is a secret code that only you will know. I will now tell you the code.
Me: OK
Him: It is Pi. Do you know Pi?
Me (going blank all of sudden): Er, 3.146?
Him: ...Maybe I should just give you my key.
Me: Thanks
Him: Don't mention it. And as I say, I'll apologise to Rosemary for you.
Me: Right. Thanks.
Him: Don't mention it.
Me: Right.
Fortunately when I got back, he was ensconced in conversation with the dull history professors opposite and I was free to chat with Liv, Rosemary and Sonia (Liv and Rosemary's friend; a delightfully acerbic and wicked woman who "hates people"). Over the course of the next couple of hours Rosemary and Sonia were to give me the third degree as to "my intentions" towards Olivia, and whether or not I'm a suitable partner for her. Questions ranged from how many babies I want, to what my favourite book is. They're very thorough, these Oxford types.
On to the pub, where we all got wonderfully drunk, before heading back to Univ via Ahmed's Kebab van for chips and cheese. The room we were staying in was once used by Bill and Hillary Clinton when they visited their daughter Chelsea, back when she was a student there. I wonder if the Clintons stopped off at Ahmed's Kebab van for chips and cheese. I bet they did, a thought I mused upon as I sat on the loo at 6am, dealing with the consequences. "I wonder if Bill sat on this very same loo "dealing with the consequences" too..." I thought to myself.
Saturday was very pleasant. Breakfast, followed by lunch, followed by a long stroll along Port Meadow to the Trout Inn, a nice summer pub with Peacocks roaming the beer garden. After that, me & Liv had a nice dinner at Gee's before meeting up with the others again for more drinks back in town.
Sunday was equally relaxing; breakfast, a read of the papers in the park, lunch, drinks in a beer garden, then we got the train back to Sheffield at half five, all relaxed and content. Oxford is a nice town, with some nice buildings, and Liv has some really nice friends there. Nice, innit!

Labels: oxford

Monday, June 04, 2007 2:02 PM 1 comments