I caught Tony at work today dipping his cheese sandwich into a mug of Oxtail soup. When I exclaimed horror at this action, I was shot down as if dipping a sandwich into soup was a perfectly normal thing to do. It's not normal, it is the kind of thing that only a mental would do. By all means, dip bread into your soup, that I can live with. Bread's fine, but if that bread is encasing another food stuff and has thus now taken on the form of a sandwich, it should be eaten as a sandwich, otherwise you end up with a confusion of tastes and styles.
Tell me I'm right. I mean, I know I'm right, I'm always right about everything ever, but tell me I'm right.
Monday, February 27, 2006 1:52 PM
I saw
The Mighty Boosh at Sheffield City Hall last night. It was genius. Brief overview of the plot: Naboo the Shaman got killed quite early on by The Hitcher, and Bollo the Ape said that the only way to bring him back was to find the Ruby of Cuckundoo. So jazz maverick Howard TJ Moon went to the Icy Tundra to look for it, and Electro Poof Vince Noir headed to Spain where he met Rudi Van Disarzio (sadly Rudy's bongo brother Spider Dijon was no where to be seen). Vince also got raped by a scary white rabbit. Bob Fossil was there too of course, the mad Canadian suck ball. And the moon, the moon was there.
So all in all, a fun night was had by all. If it comes to your town, I'd heartily recommend it.
Thursday, February 23, 2006 2:43 PM
Been mucking about with
this site at lunch today. You ask a question, and in return you have to answer someone else's question. When somebody answers your question, you get the answer sent to you via email.
Questions I've asked...
- What is the etymology of the phrase "Flippin' Henry"?
- Why is a square called a square rather than a tetrangle or a tetragon or something?
- Can celery be used for anything worthwhile, other than for dips?
- I want to go somewhere picturesque in the UK for a short photography holiday. Other than the Peak District, any suggestions as to where?
Questions I've answered...
- Is it possible to be born evil?
- What's the difference between lager and ale?
- Am I going to have a good time tonight?
- Why is my boss such a bitch?
Here's a load of featured questions.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006 1:23 PM
You know what, I'm fed up of being clumsy. It's not my fault; I'm fit, healthy, eat well, and am therefore mentally alert most of the time, and yet I stumble round life like an utter spacker. So, what have I done this time? Well, I've caught the home improvement bug and have been make a proper job of it rather than the botch jobs I usually do. I went to move one of my expensive speakers so it didn't get dusty when sanding down my nice neat plastering job where my fireplace surround once stood. Instead I tripped and punctured a whole in one of the woofers of said speaker with with my finger. So instead of it being a tiny bit dusty, it has a punctured woofer. Brilliant. Excellent. I was so pleased.
It's like somebody has a voodoo doll of me and every so often flicks away one of the legs or something. I'm already hobbling about from picking up yet another injury playing football this evening. FFS.
Speaking of clumsiness, have you noticed how much of a cliche it has become in TV shows when introducing attractive new female characters to make them do something clumsy in order to establish them as approachable and likeable and not at all out of the reach of normal people like you or I (or more importantly to the male character in the show)? Example - I was watching
Veronic Mars the other day (which is a
"much better than it sounds" US show about a sassy high school student who is also a private detective, kind of sort of similar to Chloe in Smallville but without a barely pubescent
boy of steel to save the day) and Veronica's dad met with her guidance counsellor. The counsellor then tripped over the desk, and I thought to myself "Oh, she fell, I guess she's approachable and likeable after all and I suppose her and Veronica's dad will probably get together now. Which they did.
Actually, they riffed on this in Scrubs they other day. JD was on a blind date with
Mandy Mooore, and she stumbled into the restaurant falling ofver the dessert trolley, thus establishing her as a likeable and approachable woman, and JD remarked in his trademark knowingly ironic voice over that by her displaying an endering clumsiness she had alleviated his nervousness, in a knowing nod to said cliche.
Believe me, he wouldn't have been so forgiving if she'd tripped and punctured one of the woofers on one of his speakers.
Monday, February 20, 2006 8:54 PM
It is like late spring in Sheffield today, and yet it's February. What the cock is going on? Aliens? Global Warming? One thing's for sure, it probably means that we're all going to die horribly.
Oh yeah, get this, I got a new credit card the other day with 0% interest for 6 months and so bought a load of stuff that I need such as a new cooker and that, and cause of the sudden high spend Halifax blocked the card as a security precaution, but even though one of the transactions got refused, I still got credited the 1500 Nectar Points. And then I got points for the transaction that went through when Halifax unblocked the card. The Nectar Madness continues!
Saturday, February 18, 2006 1:22 PM
When I was a kid, I used to use the expression "Flippin' Henry" to express exasperation. I have no idea why. I also have no idea why this suddenly occurred to me. Answer on a postcard...
Wednesday, February 15, 2006 2:41 PM
I get my fruit and veg delivered weekly from a local whole foods shop and don't get much of a say as to what is in the bag. This means that occasionally you get stuff delivered that no normal person likes. This week I had the double whammy of both Cauliflower
and Brussels Sprouts. I ate some of them as part of a roast, just to confirm what I already know, that they both taste like condensed evil.
So, I decided to make a soup out of the rest of the cauliflower. It was really nice so I have decided to share the recipe. Sorry that the measurements aren't exact, you'll need to use your own skill and judgement at times.
Ingredients1/2 cauliflower
1 onion
1 slug of Olive Oil
1 slab of unsalted or slightly salted butter
1 pint vegetable stock (I use Bouillon stock)
1 generous helping of double cream, sort of 100-200 ml
1 the rest of the bottle of white wine you've got on the go
1 normal sized can of butter beans
Salt
Pepper
Hemp Seeds
MethodGrind up the Hemp Seeds in a mortor and pestle.
Heat a small quantity of olive oil in a large saute pan.
Add the slab of butter and melt.
Add the chopped onion and cauliflower.
When onions soft, add the vegetable stock.
Season.
Add the ground hemp seeds.
Pour in the rest of the bottle of white wine you've got on the go, and stir.
Pour in a load of cream and stir.
Leave to simmer for ten minutes.
Drain and rinse the butter beans.
Add the butter beans and simmer for a further five minutes.
Transfer in batches to blender, and blend until smooth.
Transfer back to pan and stir over low heat for another couple of minutes.
Serve.
That should get
Covent Garden Soup Company quaking in their boots.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 12:57 PM
Don't worry, I'm not about to give away any spoilers about series 2 of Lost; this post is about a single seemingly off the cuff remark made by Hurley in Episode 13 shown this week on ABC. Hurley is reading a manuscript he found in the fuselage, written by one of the passengers killed in the plane crash.
Turns out, the book he found - "
Bad Twin" - is actually being published by Hyperion Books and being marketed as having been written by an author that was on the missing
Oceanic Airlines flight.
This sort of product placement is apparantly in response to the fact that nobody watches adverts anymore, and so programme makers have to find innovative ways to make money. I've nothing against people trying to make a profit in general, but it's a shame that the writers and producers of Lost have completely sold out and are willing to compromise their vision to make an extra few thousand squid.
Saturday, February 11, 2006 12:10 PM
Last night I used Soapnuts for the first time. What are soapnuts? Glad you asked. Soapnuts are an organic, compostable and cheap alternative to washing powders and liquids. You bung a small bag of soapnuts in the washing machine with your clothes, turn the thing on, and that's it. You get about 5 washes out of them before you chuck them on the compost heap (the soapnuts, not your clothes, that would be retarded).
I got them from
here. The site claims that it works out at about 3p a wash, as opposed to 25p for normal detergent.
So do they actually work? Well, it would seem so, yes. My clothes came out clean, and smelling of nothing, which to be honest is how I prefer it. I've never quite seen the attraction of clothes that smell like forest breezes or alpine meadows, though if that's your bag you can bung some essential oil in there too to add fragrance.
So, all in all, I can recommend them.
Thursday, February 09, 2006 1:20 PM
Guess what I got in the post today...
"I don't know, Chris."I got a
The Who Live DVD and the new
Fionna Apple CD with a bonus live DVD.
"That's nice."Guess how much I payed for them...
"I don't know, Chris."Nothing, I got them for nothing.
"What do you mean you got them for nothing? Have you literally gone mad? What kind of bizarro world do you live in where you get something for nothing?"It's not an imaginary world, it's the real world, the real world where you can amass over 8000 points on your
Nectar Card without even trying.
"This is amazing. Even though I'm merely a literary construct designed to illustrate your own amazement, I am amazed at what you are telling me."That's not all, there is a vast amount of ways you can earn money on your Nectar Card. For example, you get 4 points for every pound spent at the online Apple Store. 2 Points for every pound spent at Curries online. The
list of online stores where you can earn points goes on and on. iTunes, B&Q, Comet, play.com.
"You are shitting me. Tell me you're shitting me."I'm not shitting you. Plus with my new
Amazon credit card, not only do will I be earning Nectar Points, I will also be earning Amazon vouchers in addition to the 0% interest for 6 months.
"This is just about the most exiting news I've heard all year."I know, me too. PLUS, I got a £15 Amazon voucher just for applying for the card. Imagine that!
Monday, February 06, 2006 9:46 PM
An almost indispensable book in the kitchen is
Jacques Pepin's Complete Techniques. If you were to read the section on knife skills, you'd see it says that when chopping vegetables the kife should be buffet against the middle section of the fingers of the left hand, with the tips of the fingers curled inwards gripping the vegetable.
This would mean that if you were to look up at the TV whilst chopping hot chilli peppers and forgot to simultaneously stop chopping, you won't slice right through the fleshy part at the top of the thumb with your chilli doused knife.
Sound advise. I just wish I'd bloody well stuck to it.
9:25 PM
Every so often, I remember that this was supposed to be a Photo Blog and think to myself that I should make a photo related post. Then I discover that I can't be arsed. But I feel compelled to mention the fact that today I have printed my own photos for the first time ever, rather than getting them done professionally, and I am amazed at the results.
I have a bog standard printer; it's actually an all in one scanner/printer/photocopier which I chose for convenience and ease of use rather than its photo printing capabilities. Then recently I got five free sample sheets of
Kodak Professional Inkjet Photo Paper and thought I may as well use them. The results were as good as you'd get from a decent lab and head and shoulders above the kind of shit places like Jessops and Boots try and pass of as prints these days. Even on my bog standard printer.
Colour me happy.
Sunday, February 05, 2006 4:02 PM
I've bought something like 3 lottery tickets in my life. It's just not really my bag, my good fortune was all used up winning a drum kit at a charity thrash metal concert at the London Astoria at the age of 14. Will fortune be that generous ever again? Will it cock.
But this morning when walking to work I found myself wondering what practically everyone else in Europe is wondering right now. No, not why is that the world's Muslims are getting all shouty about some dumb cartoon in a Danish newspaper and boycotting Danish products in protest (a pretty empty gesture for Muslims to make given that pretty much all Denmark produces is bacon anyway), instead I was wondering what I would do with the £125 million that the Euromillions lottery is offering tonight.
I'm not sure if this says something about me, but the first thing I started thinking about was all the expensive bottles of Scotch I could buy. £30,000 for a 60yr old Macallan would no longer be a massively unobtainable goal. In fact, I could probably afford to buy one bottle of every kind of single malt whisky in the world. Imagine that! I would also have to buy a wall to urinate on so if anyone asked me what I did with my winnings I could say that I literally pissed it up a wall.
Beyond Scotch, I couldn't really think of anything. Maybe I'd just do volunteer work instead of a proper job as the concept of earning money would have been rendered meaningless to me. I might go on holiday. I might buy an accordion. But mostly I'd just buy lots of Scotch.
Friday, February 03, 2006 1:00 PM
